Michele: 

Hello, everybody, thank you so much for joining me today. I’m Michele Heyward founder, the tech company positive hire. And today I have with me a very, very special guest. Some of you will hopefully, really, if you will get to meet her and hear her excellent next week. This is Lynn Maureen Hurdle, she is the conflict closer. And she is part of one of the secret for women of color, instant virtual summit. And she is absolutely the best at touching and breaking down how to resolve conflict. So, Lynn and I met a few years ago, and I absolutely fell in love with her because she’s on the show, what you should do is this is she literally gave me tactical steps on how to improve my communication skills. So I just knew coming in, when I say technical steps, I’m an engineer, I’m so civilized. And she really gave me an approach I can understand from the analytical side. And I think that’s truly truly important, especially for many other Latina black and Native women for STEM professionals who can be very analytical. Many of us are introverts. So communication is highly important to implore us, especially when it comes to our careers. Thanks for joining. So why don’t you tell everybody a bit about yourself?

Lynn:

All right, Hey, everybody, lingering hurdle conflict flows in number one, I have the bronze. So seeing lots of conflict without that conflict isn’t everywhere, but in the process of fair share. I believe that this work for actually now 40 years of really helping people to have the kinds of conversations that people tend to find difficult to have. And then at the same time, conflict is everywhere. We may not acknowledge and recognize that some things are complex, you can think of the larger as conflict rather than the every day misunderstanding the everyday interactions with our co workers, with our boss, with our family, with our friends, with strangers, that conflict can happen and does happen on a regular basis. And I was introduced to the work really through a racial incident where my life was on the line. And I actually thought that I had the intentions of going into entertainment. But after that particular incident, I knew that there was something in me and in my purpose that was here for helping people to have the kinds of conversations where we can really talk about the way that we relate to one another, the communication styles, the differences, and the places where we can come together and agree. I’ve worked in as a consultant in corporate spaces and profits in education spaces, everything from K through university levels, traveled the world actually helping really learn how to resolve conflicts or implement systems that to help their whole communities and businesses learn to resolve conflict. And and I love it, I enjoy the work that but very, people are like, Why are you so happy that this home with your family the opportunity for me to grow and to learn more about yourself? Rather than just say, No, I need to get rid of my wife. I love it.

Michele: 

I love it. Now, one thing that I want to point out she said 14 years. 14. She started it yesterday. Shane is 40 years. And she was driven to a biracial incident. That says a lot that will admit 40 years. You are absolutely an expert in the field hates America. Hey, Shelly. So one thing about man, her expertise she has not like she said she teaches it but she’s also a published author. Can you tell everybody a bit about your book?

Lynn: 

Yes. My book is really about called closing conflicts are leaders. And it is really about developing a team that is happy to work for you because you’re the kind of leader that actually knows how to do Take on conflict, and to resolve it actually first engaging and resolve it in really productive and powerful ways. And in my book, I actually go into the whole story around that racial incident that really propelled me into this work. But in that I give a lot of techniques and stories about conflict and how you can use different techniques to actually number one, go for it, right, because most people avoid it. And number two, engage in it really powerfully, productively, and number three, to actually resolve whether it’s resolvable in that space, or over time, and then to fold that, so that you’re not only does your confidence build, but your skill set notes as well.

Michele: 

I love it. So that book, I want the ladies who are in the parts of the current community to know this is one of our books will be reading this year. So. So if you go ahead and purchase it, I’ll be sure to share the link and information in the summit next week. So that you have it available to you, you can purchase it and you can read it ahead of time, especially this right now. If conflict, especially in your workplace for like, everyday life is something that you’re encountering. It’s really, really important that your intercession on Tuesday, February 18, at 7pm, East Coast time, now, you’re like, Okay, so she’s written a book for 40 years. Okay. Okay. Let me tell you a little bit. She has grace, the stage of TEDx. Yes. So you don’t get on to it it just because you actually have to know how to deliver content, you also have to have a careful message in which you are delivering. So do not think I’ve watched off somebody who kind of saw them no communication. She goes up on stage communicating with people that is being shared for years, builds videos around for decades. So they will live with us when we live somewhere to TEDx experience.

Lynn: 

So my TEDx students, it’s actually really funny, because Michelle says, yes, you know, like, you’re not convinced. But let me just tell you how I even. That’s the real stories. I was on Facebook one day, and we see a direct message from a young woman who I met her one time, at a retreat, where I was speaking about conflict, I was doing a workshop about conflict with women. And she and I grown together. Apparently, not only my workshop, but our time together, made an impression on her because this was six years later, out of the blue, we were not friends on Facebook, she direct messaged me and said, I am in charge of putting together a TEDx event in Washington, DC, and they want to do something on conflict. And I immediately, six years later, she you need wakeboard? Me. All right, so that’s really to me the power of, of what I do and the impact that it has on other people. And it’s interesting when you go here to TEDx talk, it’s not actually about conflict that she was talking about itself. It’s about the conflict around the hate that’s directed at in this country. But that is still about conflict. And like I said, the way that I got to the TEDx stage was through doing powerful work with this group of powerful women. I love it.

Michele: 

I love it. So that is how you communicate so well until you get invited to prepare that stage. Maybe Glenn knows what she’s doing. This is not the first time has been a part of the summit. Back in 2017
she wrote this article, this little old legacy
psychology today.

Lynn:

Yes, yes it is. And I actually right on the heels of psychology.

Michele: 

So as far as you know sobriety regular people know much getting health issues. My son Carlos and today are given by the details of publishing a book on travel. Now I want you to somebody who is about is improving your communication on a regular basis and understands the difficulty, women of color in the workplace. So let’s talk about your column on psychology today. What you share and in here, they could find it.

Lynn:

Absolutely. So if you Psychology Today, my column is about breaking culture. So when you want to talk about women of color, especially in the workplace, I talk about all kinds of issues that have to do with complex culture. So the article that Michelle is talking about, is about the cultural gatekeepers, right? That was my very first article. And again, the power of that, is that it was that article that the editor of Psychology Today to say, Yes, we want you to write for us, because she said, this sounds interesting, send me send me a draft of what you would say. And I did. And she’s like, yep, this is it. So I write about all kinds of things, including communication styles that may be different for women, for people of color, the kinds of things, the first of the training screening, a lot of what I do is work around conflict and culture and diversity. It’s a particular interest of mine, because I’ve recognized from the very beginning years of my being in work, that was a very white century Eurocentric format, to the way that people would featuring conflict resolution. And it just didn’t fly with people that I know a lot of working in, in New York City, in the heart of communities of color, and level. And the thing about well, to wait until someone finishes speaking and you can’t be emotional or animated, I’m like, I’m sorry. But we’ll do conflict like that. And the other piece was the whole piece of knowledge about Asian cultures, right? And how it has how it is looked at as being as being afraid as someone who’s actually not doing work for me that one of the most powerful tools, I use a silence, that people actually do not know how one side and a lot of cultures that cage with his passive label, actually doing some serious work in the silence. So I talk about different subjects around that column.

Michele: 

So now we know he has the book. She has the TEDx, you can go look for the BBC, and a regular column in psychology today. This is why I have delivery hurdle as one of our speakers for the women of color in step seven. Now, let me tell you, it’s called redefined fail validation. To advance. Oh, I forget, which is Ellis Lee. It always it never fails, right. But one of the biggest is the most important things when it comes to women of color is communicating what you say women communicate differently. In a white male driven industry, it’s very, very important that we have very good communication skills. So live in this presentation. We’re focusing on women of color leaders. And what is that like to have your voice heard, especially when they’re stressed is a stressful time. decisions have to be made, you may not have all the information, how they communicate, or like lives that sit in silence. And you listen, and I can absolutely agree with you in working in construction. And a lot of times, it wasn’t my meeting I was leaving. It looks like I was assembled went down right there listening is a conference event. Absolutely tell you that contract the fine.
I just I just knew and listened to it, nothing made sense, reflection of the voices All
right, let’s go take a ride. And we will go look at pictures right in
the middle. And of course, if the client was in the conversation, so the client was a hearing, we’re hearing the closure, believe me when the contract was pitched.

Lynn:

Maybe because people don’t recognize all that communication. Like you said the inflection of voice, body language, he had so many different things and, and then you throw into where we are right now in society, there’s so many different ways to communicate. And then they all have their pluses and minuses. And yet still, that people are communicating so much more by texts that used to be email was something that you really did have to learn how to communicate well on and still do. But now when you have people having all flaked out without really important conversations, which has no way of really behind the meeting, what’s the inflection? What’s your facial face telling you all of those kinds of? So again, still, we’re not drawing these things out. How to communicate the best way possible through all of these different modes of

Michele: 

absolutely agree. On the personalized Look, I’m trying to take two minutes. 30 minutes.

Lynn: 

But the other thing too, is that you’re talking about companies that have age ranges, too, right? So someone who would say, I just this is not a tech conversation, but they’re talking to someone who Yeah, it is a tech conversation. And we communicate. So how do you work effectively with intergenerational employees? Right, and coworkers and bosses? Yeah, some of us are, our bosses are the age of our children. And yet, still, we have to work with them. And we have to be supervised by them.

Michele: 

So some places, messaging, right. And it’s like, No, you can’t message like certain hours, like you have to get up and go and talk to your co worker to have this, but I could just you could have six feet away. To fix it, they literally purposefully blocked out time for their human engagement. So there’s less, you know, exchanges and distractions. And it is it works. I just have to find the right fix. Also have to find out how each person communicate. Yes.

Lynn:

And you have to know how to communicate, that’s all well and good. I’d love one that is happening because it’s really important. But if you want us to communicate well, particularly when there is a conflict, then your time interacting with that coworker face to face is not going to be productive and anything that has the potential to escalate the conflict situation.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, you see why you need to register or next week summit. Moon is going to be dropping some very important tactics and strategies when it comes to communicating as a leader. And even if you’re
you are like Michelle, engineer one. I’m a scientist at the very beginning of my career. Communication is now it was even before you were born, it was it was a tweet. I shared on my Instagram it says your mother tongue leaves your voicemail and says hi, let’s hear your voice. Since before I was born, I wasn’t nobody was recognized. So communication has been happening.

Lynn:

And let me just throw in one more thing. case you know I live this work every single All day, which means that I do not teach techniques that I do not use in my everyday life, and where I use my sons and one of them. Anybody who knows, right? Hey, I believe that I have to be able to use it. And it’s so funny because people tend to separate the business person. Let me tell you something, what you do in a personal is going to show up at some point. It just. And so that’s why these skills are applicable every day life no matter what it is you’re doing, no matter who it is, you’re interacting.

Michele: 

Win. Thank you so much for coming on today. We have our guest, Shelley pike is the mayor like this is so good. We can’t wait to hear your experience more. Exactly. So come join us for next week’s virtual summit. Men speaking on Tuesday. So when you go into which category, be sure you select all up? She is a communications obviously. And her her own talk will pop up if you’ve already registered, don’t have skipped over that communication was how do I go back, you can go back, you can log back in if you’re having issues logging in, just send an email to info dot positive hire.co. And one of our team members will go in and add to her session trust. Liz is great to see We haven’t seen each other in real life for joining me,

Lynn:

thank you so much for having me. I love that you provide me with this.

Michele:

Alright everybody. I will be back here on LinkedIn on Wednesday. Stay with Tamara Macklemore if you’re on Facebook and any follow on positivehire Facebook business page, I will be on tomorrow night at 7pm. with Lisa Anderson, who has 25 years in HR. She will be talking about the leadership skills executive presence that women of color need to go from middle management to the executive level. So come in join us then just keep watching my page. I’ll be posting notices when I’ll be introducing more of our speakers everybody have a great day.